What is Auburn Football?
It is the 1/2 national championship in 113 years of playing football.
It is sharing a mascot with numerous other college, junior college,
high school, junior high and peewee football teams. It is the smile on
Ben Leard's face after throwing an interception that lost the 1998
Virginia game. It is the feeling of anticipation during the walk down
Wire Road from your trailer to "The Jungle". It is wrong way "Bo". It
is having a cute little nickname like "The Jungle" for Jordan-Hare.
It is putting up a banner for losing the tiebreaker for the Western
Division title. It is throwing a parade for finishing second. Again,
it is throwing a parade for finishing second.

It's having singer Jimmy Buffett , briefly, attend your school -- but
he think so little of it, his only recording of college life is
"Livingston Saturday Night."
It's about seeing your rival's prominent place in America culture
represented in movies (Forrest Gump, The Junction Boys, Sweet Home
Alabama,
Bear) songs and fiction -- and knowing that no one has ever featured
Auburn in a major motion picture or hit record -- and never will
unless you were to consider the brief mention in Big Fish, but that
was all made up as well.

It's knowing that your program rode to any sort of national
recognition on Alabama's coat tails -- and knowing that if it wasn't
for 'Bama the rest of the country would care less about Auburn than
they already do. It's about drive-by shootings at your new running
back. It's scheduling Ball State and the Citadel and then wondering
why no one else in the country thinks you should be considered a
co-national champion. It's about corrupt directors mismanaging your
school and almost losing your academic accreditation. It's about
allowing rich, fat boosters on the sidelines and their demanding your
head coach call the plays they want during ballgames.


It's about seeing Alabama all over the College Football Hall of Fame
in South Bend -- and seeing Auburn barely mentioned in passing. It's
about sneeringly calling The University of Alabama "UAT," all the
while praying nobody remembers your school's original name was
"Alabama Polytechnic Institute." It's knowing that your arch-rival is
one of the Top Five Top College Programs in the entire history of the
game -- and knowing you'll never come close to matching that grandeur.
It's knowing your best bet for a national championship team could only
beat injury- and NCAA-beleaguered Alabama by 8 points in the 2004 Iron
Bowl (and be losing to them at half-time).


It is and always will be about "Keep it down home, cuz" It is having
only 1 more SEC champ. than GA Tech....and they've been out of the
conference for over 40 years! It is about having a cute slogan like
"AttitUde" or "AUdacity" in order to fire up your fans. It is the 1/2
national championship in 113 years of playing football
It is the hope that one day; Auburn will win a national title without
sharing it or being on probation. It is knowing that if the Tigers
finish second, it will be OK because they will throw a parade, get
rings and a trophy anyway. It is living up to every stereotype about
Auburn by letting the players ride on hay bails during that "victory"
parade. It is accepting the National Title from the only person who
will give it to Auburn, a 16 year old kid with an AOL account


It is the 1/2 national championship in 113 years of playing football.
It is Terry Bowden. It is Eric Ramsey. It is having a head coach who
used to cook catfish for a living. It is Napoleon Syndrome. It is
Little Brother Syndrome. It is the Red Headed Step Child Syndrome.
It is believing 2 Heisman Trophies = 2 National Championships. It is
knowing that only one other school in NCAA history has been put on
probation more times than you, another category where Auburn is #1.
It is using Toilet Paper to celebrate a victory and wondering why the
world treats Auburn like No. 2. It is canceling the Florida State
game a month before the season because you don't want Bobby Bowden to
punish you on national TV for running his son off.


It is calling the 1989 Alabama game "The Mountain Top," instead of
using that title for a championship game.


It is yelling "Punt Bama, Punt" 30 years after that chant outlived its
cleverness.


It is having a runningback who couldn't pass a third grade English
test


It is constantly correcting people that Auburn is in Alabama, not
Georgia


It is drawing national attention as a barn burns down next to the
stadium during the LSU game


It is having a bovine research center less than a mile away from the
football stadium. It is having a trailer park less than a mile away
from the football stadium.
It is the look on Terry Bowden's face as he's about to pass out at the
Flora-Bama. It is the plane ride to Louisville. Allow me to repeat,
it is having the same amount of SEC championships as Georgia Tech, who
left the SEC 40 years ago. It is the 1/2 a National Championship in
113 years of football. It is having a series TIED with Vanderbilt - a
series you just recently tied- til then Vandy led the series.


It is the probations.....


It is the trailers....


It is the cows.....


IT IS AUBURN FOOTBALL! WAR DAMN EAGLE!